Tuesday, April 26, 2011

My Sweet Johnny has Gone Ahead...


My Sweet Johnny has gone ahead.
A piece of my heart is gone, my big brother Johnny passed away yesterday morning
& my heart is breaking.


Growing up he was always by my side, every childhood memory I have, has Johnny in it.


Standing next to me, his arm around me, walking with me to school,


watching over me, even when I wasn't looking.


I was rarely afraid as a child because I was never alone, I always had Johnny with me.


I was so very blessed to have found him.
He was so very strong & held on so long, waiting for me to find him.
He knew I would never have Peace without finding the missing Piece of my Heart.


I have a scene from 'Out of Africa' that has been playing over & over in my mind.

Karen: Do you remember how it was on safari? In the afternoons I would
send you ahead to look for a camp and you would wait for me.
Farah: So you can see the fire and come to this place.
Karen: Yes. Well, it will be like that. Only this time I will go ahead and wait for you.
Farah: It is far, this place where you are going?
Karen: Yes.
Farah: Then you must make this fire very big, so I can find you.

My Sweet Johnny has gone ahead to watch out for me & guide me home,
just like when we were children.
I miss him so much already.
Oh, how I wish I could see you fly!

XOXO
vintaesusie

44 comments:

Andrea said...

So sorry for your loss! My prayers and thoughts are with you!!

Sheila R said...

My God give you comfort and strength during this time. You are in my prayers.

About Me said...

I am so very sorry for the loss of your
brother ~
My prayers are with you and your family ~

hugs
Lori

My Blessed Serendipity Life said...

I am sorry for the pain you are feeling with the loss of your dear brother. I am sending love and my sympathy to you and of course prayers.

hugs,
Danielle

Screaming Sardine said...

I'm so very very sorry. Please know that there are so many of us out here in blogland who send you our tender thoughts.

Hugs,
Tracy

SUSAN MARCHAND said...

Dearest Susie,
My heart is full. I know how much your dear, sweet brother meant to you and what a difficult and emotional journey this past year has been. Be at peace in knowing that you found each other in time before he had to leave on his own journey to a better place. My prayers are with you, my friend.
Love,
Susan

nacherluver said...

Oh ouch. I am so sorry for your loss. Those pictures of you and your brother are absolutely priceless. You can see he was a good big brother and definitely looked out for you. Sounds like there was a lot of love between the two of you. Healing Hugs to you.

Linda in New Mexico said...

I am so sorry for your loss and know you are in pain....peace my friend, Linda

Anji Johnston said...

Yes, he has gone ahead Susie, and he will be watching over you as he did as a child. He will be forever with yuo, no matter what. My prayers and love are with you. X

Alice said...

Oh sweetie, I'm so sorry that your dear brother has passed away. How blessed you both were to have been together during his last months.

I'm sure he is now watching over you, just as before.

Hugs to you.

peggy aplSEEDS said...

i'm so sorry to hear about your loss, but since i read your post of how you found him, i'm so glad that you did and had some time together. that is such a blessing. sending you a big hug
peggy aplSEEDS

Debby said...

I am so glad that you found your brother and that you could spend some time with him. You know he is in a better place and you will see him again. But it still hurts so bad and for that I am so sorry. (((((((HUGS)))))

Judy said...

I am so very sorry to hear of your loss. Look for the flame and he will be there.

Tins and Treasures said...

My dear friend, Susie,
I am so very sorry to read your news today. My heart is hurting for you. I will keep you and your whole family in my thoughts and prayers.

Take care, ~Natalie

Sandy Navarro said...

Susie, I'm so sorry for your loss. How wonderful that you found your brother and he was once again a part of your life and knew how much you loved him. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

Love,
Sandy

Linda said...

Oh Susie...my thoughts are with you...I know your heart must be so sad. I am so glad you were able to find him and be with him...I know you touched many out here to reach out to their families, too. My prayers are with you for comfort and peace...I know he WILL be waiting for you...XO

Jane said...

So sorry to hear of Johnny's passing, but so grateful you had time with him here at the End. How brightly will be burning the fire that will lead you to him and your other loved ones when you get Home!

Blessings and Hugs,
Jane

Cameron said...

I am soooo sorry, Dear One....though he is no longer able to be touched physically, he will no doubt keep touching your heart and soul with his Love...

All my sympathy....

hello gorgeous said...

hey gorgeous, he will ALWAYS be with you, wherever you are/whatever you do....take comfort in that feeling sweetie

Hugs at this saddest of times

hello gorgeous xxx

Retreauxgirl said...

I am truly sorry for your loss, hang in there girlie!

BIG HUGS
~Leslie

Judy said...

Big huge virtual hugs. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

la paix

Judy

Rene Foust said...

So sorry for your loss words can't express. But I am so happy you found him.

Linda @ A La Carte said...

I know you are hurting but the joy in finding your big brother again and knowing he is waiting for you will never leave you. Take comfort in that and my thoughts and prayers are with you.

Lynn Stevens said...

I'm so sorry for your loss, but what a wonderful thing, you found each other again before he left our world. hugs and prayers to you!
Lynn

Angela said...

So sorry...I can't imagine my life without my brother. But one of us will have to go on ahead, and reunions are so sweet.

~Sheri~ said...

may peace b with u.....in ur time of sorrow! The pics are so sweet......hold tight and dear to your memories~Sheri

A Cottage Muse said...

So, so sorry for your loss dear.
Sending you hugs and keeping you in my prayers.

katie said...

I am sorry he is gone.
I am happy that you found him.
I rejoice that you will be reunited.

Jamie said...

I am thinking of you Sweet Susie. I wish Gentle days ahead for you. We were in Disney World recently and I told my Mom the story of your Father. She thought it was wonderful. Love,Jamie

lordblessu said...

I feel so bad for you. You and Johnny are at peace.. you knowing he is watching over you and you knowing he is whole again.. You are in my prayers my friend.

bobbie said...

I'm so sorry for your loss ~~

Debbie said...

So sorry to hear of about your loss, you are in my prayers!!!

Cindy Craine said...

You just amaze me with your wisdom and your kindness and your ability to bring me to tears. Out of Africa, I mean really, did you think we wouldn't cry?! You need to write a book or something you know girl! This you can be sure Saint Peter will welcome you as I'm sure he did your brother. Sending you a big Texas hug! xoxoxox-cin

Whimsey Creations said...

I am so sorry for your loss. Now he is indeed your angel watching over you. All you have to do is close your eyes and the memories will be there to hold you up. Prayers and hugs for you!

red.neck chic said...

Oh... my heart hurts with you.

All of my love, prayers and more hugs are just for you.

I'm so sorry...
xoxoxo
robelyn

Charlene said...

Wonderful post sweet girl!!!!!! We had our conversation of the phone... so we won't go there again. But, know you are loved & Johnny will indeed make the fire burn bright for you to see. And now you have a guardian angel in HEAVEN watching over you. LUCKY YOU! HUGS!
Charlene Pearl

Eileen said...

My heart hurts for you. I just found your blog, and I am so sorry. Please know you are in my prayers, and God hears every prayer lifted up to him. Take care of yourself.

Suz said...

Oh, Susie,
I am full of so many feelings. My heart is just broken for you, I am so sorry...but I am so glad that you found him. I pray that someday they find a cure for Huntington's Disease. Please let us know if there is a way we could help by donating in Johnny's name...and I mean that!!!
Thank you for sharing your story so openly. I grieve with you, my dear. It is a story of love triumphing...both of yours for each other. I send you my love and a big hug. You are a dear, good person. Someday that fire will burn bright and you will be together again.
Suz

Anne Lorys - Fiona and Twig said...

I am so very sorry for your loss, what a special connection you and your sweet brother had.

Much love and prayers,
Anne

she dreams big! said...

I'm so glad that he waited for you to find him again and is able to wait for you until you two are together in a much happier place. My sympathies, sweet Susie. May your memories sustain you during this difficult time.

Big loving hug ~~ Connie

Cindy said...

Susie, I was so saddened to read about the loss of your dear big brother, Johnny. What a tremendous loss - your brother and your friend. I can see the love between the two of you in the sweet childhood pictures you shared here. You're in my prayers.

The Divine Mrs M said...

I am so sorry to be sending my condolences this late. I haven't been faithfully reading blogs. I hope that each and everyday is getting easier and that peace is finding its way to your heart.

Sue said...

Oh Susie, I am so far behind in my reading and I only just now am reading this post. I am so sorry to hear the news about your brother. I'm glad you found each other if only for a short time. Take comfort knowing that when you meet again in the afterlife, he will be healthy and well. Thinking of you right now, my friend.
hugs, Sue

Carol Anne's Boutique said...

I am so deeply saddened to read about your dear brother's passing, there is nothing harder than losing the ones we love with all our heart. Your Sweet Johnny is watching over you Susie and he is always sending you his never ending love.

I'm so sorry my friend, you're in my prayers.
Love you,
Carol Anne